What makes a family?  How is it defined?  This makes for an interesting and often lengthy discussion, with many varied points of view.  At Buckner, we would argue that a family can be defined in many ways.  It is not constrained to biology, necessarily.  Families come in all sizes and can be both intimate and structured, the source of frustration and the source of healing.  Family, in most instances, is a place to belong.

Bob and Kim Forman

Which brings us to the concept of foster families.  More specifically, foster group care families.  Most easily and generally defined as a home with more than six children, a foster group family is a fun place to be, full of activity, laughter and noise.  We’re reorganizing three of our homes on the Campus of Buckner Children’s Village into foster group homes and have recruited three couples to move in and parent kids.  To be a family, in other words.  We’ve done this before, to great success.  Bob and Kim Forman have been foster parents for the past eleven years, and have parented untold numbers children.  In a few days, they’ll watch proudly as three of their kids become high school graduates.  A while back, a story was written about them which gives a glimpse into the wonderful world of foster group care, and we’re presenting it again here.  

Fourteen Makes a Family

By Jenny Pope,  Buckner International

ORANGE, Texas – It’s 7 a.m. and the Forman residence looks like Grand Central Station. Teenagers of all ages and races, 12 in all, race from room to room in search of backpacks, breakfast, clean laundry, medication and more. Kim Forman sits in the Lazy-Boy in the living room and watches the chaos unfold.“This is my chair,” she said while stroking the family’s two dogs on the back of their head. “I just stay out of the way until I’m needed.” In the background her husband Bob yells from one room to another, “I better hear that vacuum cleaner!”

The Orange, Texas foster family of 14 might seem chaotic to an onlooker, but it’s really a well-organized machine. When you have ten bedrooms, 12 children, two dogs, and more than 15 loads of laundry a day – systems are more than necessary, Bob said. 

“I’ll sometimes make as many as six trips a day to school and back,” he said. “But we love it. We’ll do anything for these kids.” 

Both Kim and Bob quit their full-time jobs after raising their own family because they felt called to serve children as foster parents. The bible mandates it, Kim said.

“James 1:27 tells us that pure and undefiled religion is to care for orphans. We do this for the Lord. I know it seems unconventional, but we’re a family. We want the best for our children while they’re here and we want to see them do well once they leave the house.”

There's plenty of room at the Forman kitchen table.

One of their foster children, Clyde, will graduate this very week. After living with the Formans for seven years, he considers them Mom and Dad.

“They’ve always believed in me,” he said, while pouring himself his morning cereal. “They’ve helped me keep my head up; told me I can do it. Even when I think I can’t, they tell me I can.”

The 18-year-old boy hopes to become a machinist one day, or an inventor, he said. When he first came to the Formans, he thought he was retarded – at least that’s what his mom and dad had told him.

“Clyde called his Mom this week to tell her he was graduating,” Kim said. “But not because he wanted her to come; I think he just wanted her to know.”

Though Clyde had never been to school before he arrived at the Formans, he quickly started achieving at the high school level.

“He worked hard,” Kim said, “and now we got him graduating. He’s got two jobs, and he can fix anything around the house… I think it shows what some good encouragement can do.”

Christine, 15, is another child living in the Forman home. According to Kim, Christine was raised in hotel rooms. When she first came to them five years ago, she had terrible hygiene and was easily angered, throwing frequent temper tantrums.

“Now she’s our social butterfly,” Kim said. “She’s a cheerleader, always on the phone. She’s overcoming some struggles with dyslexia. She’s just a normal teenage girl.”

“I’ve been through a lot with them,” Christine said, a little more shyly than you’d expect from a cheerleader. “But I have more freedom and more love here than I did before. I like to talk to Ms. Kim and Mr. Bob. They sit and pray with me at night.”

Throughout the years, Bob and Kim have fostered 60 children in their home, formerly a duplex now connected in the middle with a large family room. They typically care for teenagers, ages 12-19, anywhere from 5-7 years.

Some of their foster children stay close even after they leave. Danny is one of those children.

With an arm sleeve of tattoos and nickel-sized holes in his ears, “his looks can be deceiving,’ Kim said. “He’s really easy to love.”

Bob Forman and Danny

Danny, 21, works at a local auto body shop in Orange. He still comes back to the Formans house weekly for a good, home cooked meal.

“I never knew how expensive food was,” he joked.

Danny admits that when he came to the Formans, and even during his time with them, he was irresponsible. But he credits their caring, supportive relationship with helping him reach his goals. And come to know God.

“I wasn’t a normal teenager,” he said. “I was always getting into trouble. But Bob and Kim helped me have a relationship with God. A lot of people can talk the talk but can’t walk the walk. Bob and Kim are different, you know? Their actions speak louder than words…You can’t fake love.”

Bob agreed.

“Danny has a heart of gold,” he said, giving him a pat on the back “God’s grace is upon him.”

“There is no greater thing you can do in your life than help a child,” Kim said. “I just think that anyone who’s interested in doing this has to make sure it’s what God has called you to do. It’s a ministry.”